Shuttle - I've Missed You!

You know how much I love my commute downtown on the Loyola Shuttle - I love it a lot!

The shuttle doesn't run in the summer months as too few students are around. These are the months I keep the CTA bus tracker handy while getting ready in the morning continuously update myself on where the 147 is - and where it will be when I need it. Although the bus tracker is extremely convenient, the times are not always spot on as traffic lives and breathes a life of its own. Yet, I know that I have 12 minutes - sometimes 13 minutes - to make it from the door of my apartment to Sheridan Road to catch the bus. Sometimes I have to haul-ass, and if you know anything about how I am built, you know it's not always easy to bring up the speed to a "comfortable cruising pace." Speaking of comfortable, while the CTA tries, it's not always the most enjoyable ride when confronted with packed-in patrons, phones ringing, and the ever-so-sassy CTA voice marking stop after stop. *This bus runs express to downtown, standing passengers, please hold on at all times* Sitting passengers - please hold on at all times, too!

With the new semester has come the opportunity to ride again the Loyola Shuttle bus to and from work. While I am often the oldest person on the bus many mornings, I enjoy getting on to plenty of seats, relative quiet, and folks with books and notepads out studying and reading and highlighting and drawing and memorizing and ... you get the picture. This is my kind of atmosphere! This may sound like a slice of hell to many. Really - this is heaven? Boring! Not for me. It's my "morning time" to collect myself, center my thoughts, and if I want to read or write or listen to music - or anything else for that matter - I can do that. In the past I've tried to create a morning routine. These days, however, I do/go with whatever moves me. Some days I love to stare out at the life around me, other days I read for class, while others I just find myself lost in tunes on my I-POD. Whatever comes to me, I'm able to be lost in myself, something I don't know that we (as in the collective) do often enough. This is my time.

I've missed my time this summer. The CTA just doesn't lend itself to this like the shuttle does. I don't blame them, they do good with the resources they have to work with. Yet, this morning, "shuttling" to work, I've become aware of just how important my time is to me. Perhaps you have something like this in your life. If you don't, it may be worth exploring ways to have you time.

I've missed you, Loyola Shuttle.

Thank You, Senator Kennedy

* * *

To live the Gospel message is not easy. To advocate loudly for all while maintaining a quiet, consistent faith takes courage. As I watched Ted Kennedy's funeral this morning I teared up, calling to mind the life of a man who 'got' what it meant to be a person for others - all others.

* * *

I know my brother Ted rests in peace.
I pray his prophetic vision for America continues to instill hope.
Above all, I thank God for the gifts Senator Kennedy shared with so many.

* * *
"For all those whose cares have been our concern, the work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die."

-Sen. Ted Kennedy
1980 Democratic National Convention

Fall Line-Up

There comes a time in late summer/early fall where folks get excited about the upcoming fall line-up on TV. I must admit, I enjoy the hoopla around what new shows are beginning, what is being dropped, and how many comedies, dramas, satires, parodies, reality shows et al. are being offered. We often peruse the "line-up cards" weeks before; many even schedule their week around favorite shows. While I don't organize life around TV, I do get jazzed about what show will resonate, which character I will find myself in, and how my favorite show's plot will evolve and unfold. TV in moderation helps us escape the stresses of life!

Along with TV, traveling to visit family and friends helps me escape the stress of classes and work and allows me to get out of the hustle and bustle of the city. I thought I would share my fall line-up:

+ September 3-6: Traveling back to Iowa for family gathering & ISU football. Go Cyclones!

+ September 11-13: Traveling to Belleville, IL to help celebrate my friend Adam's birthday.

+ September 25-27: My sister Jackie and friend are in town for a PINK concert.

+ October 2-4: Traveling to Kansas City for ISU v KSU football and ISU reunion.

+ October 22-25: Traveling to New York to visit my friend Melissa.

+ October 30-Nov 1: Traveling to Nashville, IN to do Halloween with Scoots and Jesse.

+ November 6-8: Ryan's birthday festivities in Chicago. Bears game!

+ November 26-29: Traveling to Kansas City for Thanksgiving.

There may be other smaller trips in there, too. But for now, that's quite the line-up!

I'm angry, too!

I'm angry, too!

If you've been paying attention to American politics lately you know the turmoil and strife around the healthcare debate. President Obama favors a system whereby all are required to have health insurance, and as you might suspect, the neo-con right has begun hijacking public discourse. In many ways, they are holding conversation hostage. I'm angry!

You know me - I don't much care for the conservative "neo-con" traditionalistic approach, a vision hell bent on fostering exclusivity, claiming patriotism for itself, undermining true American values such as education and tolerance, and economic prosperity for all, not just those lucky and fortunate enough to have been given access to the "golden ladder" of success. I don't prescribe to this worldview.

This time - instead of coming up with their own healthcare reform plan (they simply don't have one!) - conservatives are infiltrating democratic town halls with the goal to disrupt and create chaos, shout, yell, and scream, even shove and kick if it gets the point across. As many pundits have rightly pointed out, it reminds us of McCain-Palin campaign tactics: if you scream communist and yell traitor enough it comes true. Instead of engage in responsible and respectable discourse, we have the fringe right going around the country barging in sincere town hall discussions, wrecking havoc and bantering. Is this what it's come to?

It's true that they say - those who are afraid of change get stuck in fear. Those who are a fan of the status quo (in this country, an overabundance of straight white middle to upper-class men, who also happen to be the base of the Republican party) scream "NO" at every junction, resort backwards at every cross-roads to what is familiar and comfortable, a well-off position as patriarchs in a money dominated society. It's no wonder they are desperate. Americans can choose something different.

We may or may not get healthcare reform. If America gets caught up in fear tactics and desperation (think Bush-Cheney!) it won't happen. I'm not saying all democratic ideas are the best, I'm simply claiming ground to explore and discuss, negotiate, build consensus, re-examine our country's values and ethos. It's a shame this is being held hostage. A shame!

I'm angry too!

A Taste of Summer

I've accumulated pictures over the summer. Some I've shared and posted before, some I haven't. These "randoms" seem to have been left out of other galleries. So enjoy - a taste of Ryan's summer!

Some UNI friends traveled to Chicago in May for a "Cinco de Mayo" party on "Ocho de Mayo." The weekend was hilarious - fiesta!


My friend Adam visited Chicago in June - a day at a Chicago beach!

Brunch one sunny Sunday morning! Priceless!

While in Des Moines, awakened to friends barging in the room. It WAS restful!

I'm ready for some swimming action! Indoor heated pool here I come!

Believe it or not, I have done some work this summer (Ryan's office).

Things That Last

I can't believe we are on the "backside" of 2009. In less than 6 months 2010 will usher in a new decade. I can't help but look back with nostalgia. At this point in my life, ten years ago, I had just graduated high school, was living at home and working at a local convenience store, and was gearing up for my first year at the University of Northern Iowa beginning my undergraduate career. What's in ten years?

I've undoubtedly changed in the last 10 years. I won't try and catalog all that has happened, nor could I really, as too much has gone on. As I look back, peer over what has become of family and friends, work and hobbies, faith-life and journeys -- and much more -- I find myself generally content with where life has led me. Of course there have been disappointments, reconciliations and healing, challenges and strife and the myriad of other ways life has humanized and humbled. I'm grateful for these experiences, too, as wisdom is often espoused in teaching/learning moments.

Where has the trajectory of life pointed after ten years?

Without being overly philosophical, I've recently been reminded of - taken stock of, really - things that last. Who/what are the things that last? Who/what (really) matters? The old adage is true: the only thing permanent about life is change; the only thing that doesn't change is change. If this is true, what threads itself through our being and collective? What constitutes the ultimate backdrop and ever elusive horizon of life? What is the mystery and more all about?

I admit I have more questions than answers. This is to be expected I guess. As one "evolves," one realizes hard answers are only illusions. Life is in the questions, perhaps not even the right questions. The process, I'm convinced, is where Grace and consolation nestle itself, hide out for further discerning and meaning making. My process has illuminated that truth, for which many fight about and wage war, is subjective in the here and now, in the existential reality in which we find ourselves. There is likely an ultimate truth, as I, too, believe in an ontological "more and mystery" many name God, but the corporal (societal governance's, church institutions, etc.) only know a piece, are gifted with a morsel, understand a kernel of the human condition and divine majesty.

So what are the things that last? I have some hunches.

1) God is love, perhaps this only.

2) Relationships sustain. We need each other, more than we'll admit.

3) Injustice is humanity's chronic condition. Feeling with, and being about, those on the margins is perhaps the biggest Grace one can ever receive.

4) Ongoing openness to conversion is necessary, takes time (sometimes a lot of time!), and supports and challenges new learnings and ways of being.

There are others, I'm sure. I have as limited knowledge of and insight into the world as others. Yet, limited doesn't mean unimportant or arbitrary. It simply means incomplete, something I rely on others and God to "fill-in." Only the more can really fill-in completely. Get comfortable being incomplete - it's not a deficiency, its gift; it points us towards things that matter.

Ten years after graduating high school, I can't help but nod to the past, affirming things that sustain, and gazing towards the future with new eyes. This, all in ten years.

Vacation & Back

The past week has been a busy one!

I traveled back home to Iowa on Friday, hung out with my parents last weekend, saw some UNI friends on Monday and Tuesday, came back to Chicago on Wednesday, and took part in the Loyola service day project and picnic on Thursday and Friday. Phew!

I loved being home last weekend! I was able to spend time with my Dad out on the farm. I drove the 4-wheeler, checked out the cattle, rescued lost calves, and did "fence checks" in the pasture. My Dad and I even got in some fishing (I didn't catch anything!). Later that day, I learned how to operate a dixon lawn mower, mowed the lawn, and was able to do some touch ups on the landscape. One friend of mine commented sarcastically, "Wow, sounds like a great vacation." As I thought more about it I genuinely agreed - I never get to experience anymore vast cornfields, mingle with animals, do yard work, enjoy flowers and shrubbery, and the like. It was actually a very therapeutic and relaxing weekend. More than anything, I enjoyed time with the parents and time at home, kicking back and relaxing, talking and chatting, catching up and bonding. Relaxing indeed!

A few pictures from the past couple days:

Indian Disco - Take I

It takes me weeks to get excited about doing laundry. I peer over to the laundry basket with shame - I should have done laundry weeks ago! It's one of those things in life - a psychological block if you will - that I can't explain. I think I've even blogged about it before - although not a difficult task I just hate everything about it. Was today a breakthrough?

I woke from an amazing night's sleep and peered over to the laundry basket. To my dismay, it was still exactly where it always, in the closet brimming with a few weeks of laundry. I heard the Rocky music begin playing in my head - today I will overcome! I will triumph! One of the reasons I hate doing laundry is the few and unreliable facilities at my apartment complex. I will overcome! I packed up the heavy load and waddled out the door, laundry bag bashing into the posterior and book bag hugging my back. I was on my way to triumph - the laundromat.

Pulling into the parking lot, I unload the laundry without the use of a skid loader. Apparently, these are not on hand to help with un-docking. Laundry in toe, I tootle in to greet my new community. Upon entering I hear Indian disco music playing loudly over the speakers and am welcomed by several neighborhood residents - an eclectic but extremely nice group. I spot the "jumbo washers" at the back and head confidently towards triumph - it's in site!

On my way to the back I meet Clarissa, a nice older black woman who seems to be the community's matriarch. She exudes class and sass and has garnered the respect of those there. She introduces herself and proceeds to tell me how things work there (no, she is not an employee - Rashid was the attendant on duty - thus the reason for disco laundry Saturdays at Suds n' More, emphasis on more, much more!). I am thankful for Clarissa's commentary - and eager welcome -- and finally arrive at jumbo washer #52. I am overcoming!

I am able to put in all my clothes in one washing machine - they are serious about the jumbo status - this is no joke. I put the money into the machine but nothing happened. I tap, pat, kick, tap, pat, kick - nothing! Clarissa calmly saunters over to assist - this is what matriarchs do. Apparently the door didn't close properly, or at all. Apparently shutting the machine's door required. I iswill overcome. While Clarissa uses her busty booty - a feature I can tell she is proud of by the sight of her g-string popping out of her tight jeans - to slam the door, Rashid stands and stairs at me. A bit uncomfortable, I ask Rashid if something is wrong. There wasn't. Do all new patrons get this "service?"

I strike up a conversation with Clarissa about how the dryers work. They tumble and dry, I know this much. She eyes the laundry in jumbo turbo washing machine #52 and exhorts that 0.50 cents will do. While it took 0.75, she wasn't far off. With Rashid smiling from ear to ear, and Clarissa holding down the fort -- don't forget to cue Indian rhapsody in the back -- I bring my experience, and time with my new community, to an end. A morning spent at the laundry mat almost makes doing laundry fun. Fun!?

While leaving I thank Clarissa for her assistance and Rashid for "keeping it real." I say goodbye to a couple other folks as well. I'm almost sad to leave. I am, however, relieved. I'm triumphal!

This may be the start of something good. A breakthrough?

Chicago Summer

It's been awhile, I know this. You are right, I can at times (long periods of time) suck at blogging. There are times when I am writing so much for my classes that I lack the motivation to write here. It's not for a lack of wanting to connect with friends or keep them informed. It may simple be that my life really isn't all that interesting, savvy, even entertaining. Alas!

I'm back. As my summer Hebrew Scriptures class winds down, I am finally freed up to give my blog audience (a small but certainly not meager group) an update. First, I can't believe I am writing this in July. J - U - L - Y, as in the middle of the summer. Where are the dog days of summer going? Of course, if you are from the Midwest, it doesn't seem like we have really had summer weather wise. I am ok with the heat and humidity passing us over this summer; I know many, however, who are wishing for more sunny and hazy days in which to sit poolside (or lakeside here in Chicago) and enjoy the rays. I guess they've earned that.

Summer highlights so far:

1) I traveled to Nebraska for my cousin's wedding. Biker bars are quite the hit in Nebraska!

2) I hosted a UNI friend reunion in Chicago - 5 folks in all! To make it work Lacy slept in the kitchen, right near the ever so loud humming fridge. Other than having to run out of Church half way through due to a feeling of needing to throw-up (and no, this was not the result of alcohol) things were great. Second city is hilarious; I want to go back this summer.

3) I got a new phone in June. I am anxiously awaiting traveling back to Iowa in a few weeks and having service. Small victories, big graces!

4) My friend Adam visited one weekend and we went to the beach. My stunning physique roamed the shorelines and indulged in lakeside festivities. For those who are wondering, I did use SPF 95 sun screen and applied every 30 seconds. I got sun burnt.

5) This past weekend I traveled to Nashville, IN to visit my friend Andy. It was the perfect weekend to hang out with a close friend. I wasn't aware the "hills of Indiana" had some many wineries. They do. After about 8 sips (swigs?) at very classy "wine tasting" locations I looked like a Christmas tree in July (a red ball bundle lit up in style!). I enjoy my time with Mr. Miller!

I am heading back to Iowa in a few weeks for vacation. I am looking forward to seeing my parents and spending time with siblings. While in Iowa, I have a trip to Des Moines planned to help my friends Tonia and Lacy move into their townhouse. If anything, the downtime and rest will be much appreciated. I know what you are thinking - downtime and rest while moving? Perhaps I'll sit and watch, apparently I am good at delegating.

Water of Life

I've always found water a powerful symbol of the divine. Around lakes, streams, rivers, and even oceans I sense God at work - a cleansing, healing, uniting, loving energy. Throughout history water has served as an important element in Church ritual, blessings with water, baptismal significance, and more. If you were to place water in your life right now in what capacity would it appear -- playing joyfully in a stream, treading busily to stay above water, drowning in exasperation, or is it something else?

I'm mindful this Easter of my baptismal water blessing. I'm aware many years later of my commitment to that calling and what it means to me today. At times I do feel like I am treading busily, attempting to stay on top of work and life. At times I do feel like I am drowning, facing down fear and hurt. Yet, there are those moments in life like playing joyfully in a stream. There are times we burst with laughter, exude excitement, marvel in life's gifts. I'm not sure we are good receptors of God's lavishes, looking only forward and back behind for the next battle, the impending challenge. Is it getting harder or easier in this world to appreciate God's goodness?

Many say we must psyche ourselves up for Lent, strip bare before the cross and shed sinful layers. I'm for this process. I'm also for exulting the risen Lord, psyching myself up to continue to receive God's blessings and gifts, being able to side with hope and goodness over fear and despair, admitting that laughter and friendship, radiance and family, life and neighbors are all nuggets of the divine scattered and sown throughout the world. If anything, Easter reminds us that the "drowning waters" are nothing compared to fountains of human goodness that stems from God's abundance love. Light rises through darkness, good triumphs over evil, life conquers death, and ultimately God's love overcomes worldly power and hate.

Play joyfully in a steam or lake this Easter. Acknowledge how good God is to you (and don't feel guilty about it!) and strive to make your baptismal call real - the primordial vocation of all Christians. Alleluia!

Calm Before the Storm

We know from the Bible that on Good Friday the clouds darkened and Jesus's worldly life came to an end. Jesus was murdered and crucified for our sins - but perhaps more importantly out of love, unconditional and radical love for humanity. This is what/why we celebrate next week in Holy Week - Jesus's mission and ministry - his death.

As Palm Sunday approaches and Jesus's walk to his death in Jerusalem becomes more immanent, let us remember that this week is the calm before the storm. Are we ready (really ready!) to welcome and receive what Jesus's dying and resurrection means? Don't let Holy Week sneak up on you. Don't let Easter become just about getting ham and decorating eggs.

Jesus will be led away, tried, convicted, humiliated and insulted, and hung on a cross next week. It's a whirlwind week of action and remembrance, liturgy and song, prayer and fasting, community and unity.

In the doing Holy Week, how are we to be?

As the clouds begin to darken and the transforming event nears, what spiritually is at stake for me? For us?

This week - the calm before the storm. Take stock.

Thankfully Blessed

I must thank my parents for visiting this weekend! What a wonderful opportunity to spend time with them and frolic around Chicago. I am thankful because...

1) I have great parents.


2) My parents came to me this time - I got to host!


3) We got to eat stuffed spinach pizza on a Friday during Lent.


4) The new chapel at Loyola is amazing, and we got an impromptu concert by the organist.


5) Sipping coffee at the Metropolis Coffee shop never gets old, its even better when you have great company.


6) All you can eat fish & chips at a Scottish pub called Duke of Perth is worth the wait.


7) Duplicity the movie is good, not great, get it when it comes out on DVD. My Dad commented how it was like James Bond in genre.


8) Come rain or shine (and in this case snow in late March!) Chicago can still be fun.


9) Rock it out to Jersey Boys the musical, you won't regret the investment.


10) Appreciate Sunday morning mass and brunch, its the best way to end a week and begin a new one.


Snow aside, does it get any better than this? I am thankful, extremely blessed.

Sham what!? Wow!

I'm sitting here in my lounger waiting for a Thursday night rendition of American Idol. I wonder who's getting voted off this week? I can't cry - not this time! As the results are shared I sit firm, grasp the chair, my heart pounding and my breathing heavy. After all these weeks, a new friend is voted off and sent packing. It's starting. I can't cry - not this time.

The results don't come in until the end of the hour, so while performers parade on and off the stage I've decided to continue blogging. Don't hate, I know it's been awhile.

I'm also sitting here looking around the apartment and marveling at the cleanliness. My parents are in town this weekend so I've taken the opportunity to do some spring cleaning this week. I'm not talking about some small scale dusting and picking up - I moved the couch and chair, wiped down the walls, and dusted every nook and cranny. When some of my friends heard I did this with a bucket of water, some dawn, and a rag they quickly made fun of my process. Water? Dawn? It works in the dishwasher, can't it wipe clean some cobwebs and dust balls? Apparently I flunked cleaning 101 somewhere, apparently there is a cleaning culture and rule book by which I didn't abide. They talked as if the cleaning cops were going to screech to a halt outside and revoke my cleaning license. No more cleaning credentials - there is a right way to dust they insist. Who knew? I ask - who cares?

As I sit and glance over the room things are glistening and popping, clean and tidy. The next time I get the motivation to clean they suggest pledge and shamwows (it really is one word!). Sham what!? Wow! They are for real - sham wows exist (excuse me, shamwows), it's the new "in" cleaning tool. Check that - the next time I get the motivation to clean I'll go for a walk and let my friends clean away - sham wows (excuse me, shamwows), or whatever the "in" "device" is then, sweep and wipe until there heart's content. Shammer (this is the verb form of the noun sham wow - I mean shomwow - not to be confused with the plural shamwows) it up gals! Wow me!

Results are here. Breathe in. Breathe out. No crying. Not tonight.

Shook the Shamrock

Being in Chicago for St. Patrick's Day is special. The dying of the river happened early yesterday morning, followed by a parade downtown followed by green beer and Irish cuisine galore. I missed the dying of the river and the parade, but I made sure to partake in afternoon festivities. For someone who is about 40% Irish, I had to make sure I got at least that amount of cheerio good times in amongst the Green clad rushing from bar-to-bar. And we did.

I'm not usually the "bar-to-bar" type. St. Patty's day is different. Whether you are Irish or not, you join in the festivities of celebrating the Mighty Green. I don't doubt many join in just for the fun of it all, but there is another element at work too - the awareness of and recognition around a certain culture, a certain population of people proud of who they are and where they came/come from. If only all nationalities celebrated the rituals and traditions (and not just drinking!) of their respective social location - I think pride in this sense is a good thing - serving as a sense of community, highlighting the positive, noticing their interdependence, common background, and unique bond.

And so we did. I met a couple friends downtown, had a few drinks with them as they finished their lunch. We traced on via Taxi to another bar to engage the Irishness there, and went on to yet another bar to be special and take part in the specials. While at this bar we made out with green flashing necklaces and of course the standard green beads - and no, nothing immoral was done for such festive garb. Finally, we ended the afternoon (evening?) at our final bar, partaking in the last of the green beers of the day, toasting an afternoon well attended. If you know anything about the over-consumption of beverages - and of course Irish people as well - you know by this point in the evening a meal was much in demand. With the monte cristo scarfed down, I headed north towards home, full of beverages and food, full of Irish cheer and proud of my heritage.

Needing to Exhale!

I got home last night from a busy day. I woke up early yesterday and got started - morning emails and phone calls, faculty/staff meeting from 1230-300, enrollment meeting from 300-400, and class from 415-645pm. I walked in the door and exhaled, grateful to be home!

I reflected last night on my past couple weeks. As I exhaled from a long day, I knew it also came as a relief to be done with a couple crazy weeks. My trip to LA, a busy week at work stuffing packets and mailing them, hosting a friend of mine in town, and with every other"free moment" working on a lengthy midterm for my Church & Mission class. I got in touch with my desire to emotionally and spiritually take a break, sit in silence, and turn my attention back toward the simple and small of life. With my introverted warning bells ringing loudly, I carved out some time to be - be silent, be grateful, be appreciative, be hospitable, be loving and love-able.

I've missed being the past couple weeks. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy the adventures that came with traveling to LA, or the fun had when my friend was in town. I loved it all! Yet, I think we all get to a point where we need to empty out, be with ourselves and present to our tiredness, hectic life, and the myriad of other emotions and insights garnered from the fast and furious life. It's a good time to be exhaling - the Lenten journey will sharpen as the death and resurrection of Christ nears and as the renewal and re-growth begins to cultivate itself with spring. Breathe in. Exhale!

Lenten Reflection

Loyola University Chicago put together a Lenten reflection booklet authored by university faculty and staff. I wrote today's entry and have posted it here for your perusing.

Today's readings critique something that comes somewhat naturally and quite easily to us as humans - the urge to judge others. If we are honest with God and each other, we are all guilty.

The skills of critique, judgment, evaluation, etc. are not bad in itself. It is perhaps a gift well used in analyses done in work settings, education venues, through critical thinking aimed at improvement and betterment. Yet, these readings seem to serve as a reminder to temper such impulses when it comes to the relational as God implores us to love (and maybe only that!) by being with the broken and hurting, the marginalized on the periphery, the outcast and unfit.

If we take anything away from this collection of readings, I might suggest reflecting on our (humanity's) retrieval of a basic characteristic of Jesus, one wrote about and witnessed over and over in scripture; mainly, that the commandment to love one another is primary and central to what we are about as Christians, providing vision and substance to the reign of God. This is especially vital when flooded with urges to become judge and jury, to place our social location and intellect above others. God knows differently, as do the evangelists writing for us today; their experience of God and Jesus spoke to them a different way, one grounded in mercy, compassion, good will and love. This is what Daniel is referring to when he states, "we have rebelled and departed from your commandments and your laws" (Dan 9:5).

Where have we individually, and collectively as a society, departed from God’s love? During this holy season, what would a ‘path of retrieval’ to God’s Grace and love look like?

Our writers today encourage retrieval of Christ's, and the early Yahwistic community's, vision of love for all and action on behalf of all. As Lent unfolds for us this year, may we be able to center ourselves in the authentic and original transforming Christ.

- Ryan Hoffmann
Enrollment Advisor, Institute of Pastoral Studies

Sunny California

I write today sitting in sunny California. I have the privilege of attending the Los Angeles Religious Education Congress every year for work. It's a wonderful event, capitalizing on the immense diversity and energy of God's people.



I arrived Thursday evening and am waiting for my shuttle back to LAX. I've found the culture and people here extremely hospitable, warm and friendly, and incredibly diverse. One can't help but sense the residue of a vibrant Latino/a culture, in-culturating itself in the American landscape as rich tradition and promising future. The colors, dancing, Spanish language, and the like have left me feeling a new appreciation for global church, one that stems from and takes root in the local integrity of the faithful. The universal church's hegemony can sometimes dominate a faith so needing local energy, perspective, culture - and even theology - that Church becomes structure and institution, an ideal existing beyond human reach. I say it's the opposite: Church as a community of communities, as a manifestation and incarnation of God in the here and now. The people I witnessed, the conversations I engaged, the culture I saw, the energy I felt all pointed to a Church not so much lost in distant decrees and formal leadership but in the everyday, ordinary life of those gathered around the table of plenty. As I often insist, and as this trip confirmed - God is good, all the time!

Lenten Observances

On this fat Tuesday (the day before Ash Wednesday, ushering in the liturgical season of Lent) the big question hovers.

What are you doing for Lent?

There are varied forms of this question, what are you giving up for Lent, what is your Lenten discipline, what is something you want to add to your life this Lent, are you attending services... I could go on.

So, what are you doing for Lent? Here are some thoughts.

Condoms & Bombs

I've recently picked up again the book Persistent Peace by John Dear, SJ (Jesuit Priest). I started reading it last summer before my trip to Australia and never got back into it upon my return - until now. If you aren't familiar with John Dear's writings, he comes at faith and theology from a nonviolent, liberation perspective. He has spent his entire life "ordained for peace;" working on behalf of victims of war, standing against the death penalty, challenging the government to seek peace and not kill. Fr. Dear has been arrested numerous times - staging sit-ins at the pentagon, facilitating civil disobedience at police stations and elected officials' offices, standing in the way of the "industrial military complex" at every juncture he could. If this isn't true faith and the living out of Gospel values I am not sure what is. If this isn't a "faith the does justice" then I haven't seen faith lately. I've been (re)inspired!

As I sat reading this morning on the shuttle downtown, I couldn't help but think of this book's timely invitation. In about a week, we usher in the season of Lent, a time of introspection, prayer, ritual, and a remembrance of Christ's life and mission, death and significance, and re-appropriating such in our lives today. Jesus himself, a victim of murder and capital punishment, sought a new world order, one built on peace and love. Peering out the window to cars rushing by, several questions arose for me:

Is Dear's spiritual memoir an invitation to look at the peaceful movements (and non-peaceful movements) in my life? Is picking up the book again calling me to look at the structures and systems that perpetuate violence? And finally, what about inner violence and destruction - the kind I strap on myself and is all too present in the hearts of many?

This would be quite the Lenten undertaking! I'm aware that it is not in the answers to these questions that I will find peace. Instead, in trying to be peace and yearn for peace, I am made peaceful.

I chuckled this morning when I read Dear describe the Catholic Church hierarchy's often sluggish response to issues of war and peace.

"One friend noted that if the United States had dropped eighty thousand tons of condoms on Iraq, the bishops would have denounced it and done civil disobedience at the White House. Evidently, bombs did not hold the same priority" (Dear, 2008, p. 213).

As we gear up for another Lenten journey, may God give us the wisdom and foresight to focus on what really matters! In the meantime, I want to make a special effort to pray for all those affected by war and violence in our world today. May they be inspired by a persistence peace, too!

Dear, J. (2008). A persistent peace: One man's struggle for a nonviolent world. Chicago: Loyola Press.

Splash of Spring

A splash of spring arrived this weekend; I hope it's just not a teaser!

I was cleaning my apartment yesterday when I abruptly stopped at the sound of birds chirping outside. While many may not view this as a startling event, I was captured by the sound of it because of what it spoke to me - life is peeping through the slumber of winter, waiting to burst with even more energy as the next several months unfold. These were birds, live ones at that, playing near my window seal, singing the praises of spring re-born.

Today, on the way to work, I saw geese frolicking about by the waters of Lake Michigan and the streams along Lake Shore Drive. They, too, seemed to be adding melody to the music masterpiece of spring-time in the air. What refreshing sites and new energy. I think it's the whispering of life cracking the winter chill. I can't help but be thankful.

(The picture above is from the Chicago Botanical Gardens in the spring)

Cool Joe? No.

Ryan is making a concerted effort to get back to the gym! I've come up with a "plan" that entails working out 4 times a week. Instead of going "balls to the wall," my new work-out philosophy is slow and steady. Slow and steady wins the race, right? I figure if I can jog for about a half hour a week I will be doing good. And once the muscular physique that is Ryan (note sarcasm here) gets into the swing of things, maybe I'll be able to increase the speed in which I jog or the length of time on the treadmill. Whatever happens, I am committed to doing something to stay active. Stay tuned - stories are sure to abound!

The natural response to any working out is making sure you have some tunes to motivate and sustain you while your huffing and puffing (and yes, I WILL be huffing and puffing). As such, I've dusted off the 4 year old IPOD and have been listening to some tunes on it this week on the way to work. Where did some of this music come from? Did I have no organization skills when I uploaded this music? Simply put - HOT MESS! I am back to the drawing board with the IPOD: re-organizing, uploading new music and deleting old stuff, finding CDs to get music from, sitting down and uploading my songs, creating playlists, and... well, you know how it is! I'm not particularly excited about this, but I know it will be time well spent when I am about ready to keel over from running and make an ass out of myself in the gym (which may happen anyway, but at least I'll have some Bon Jovi with me, encouraging me to scream out "Living On a Prayer so back off!").

I need to be a cool Joe when I work-out (not cool Joe like Joe the Plumber, there is nothing cool about his political "philosophy"). I'm working out at the campus recreation center, so of course many sport the latest work-out gear, sweat bands, tennis shoes, and the like. My version of "cool Joe" sports the latest spandex shorts, crew socks, and rankly old t-shirts that I don't care about. I don't dress up to work-out, nor will I ever. I chuckle when I watch the news while working out and glance around me - so this is what it is like to be on the "old end" of the age spectrum (at university gym this is certainly true!)? I'd like to think I will bring some sophistication, some class (and certainly sass!), and some wisdom. I'm just not ready to yell out "respect your elders" while panting like I've just rode the Tour De France. I guess I'll have to rely on my charm and charisma, wit and humor. I most definitely will bring the humor - decked out in my "gear" and sporting my work-out routine. Richard Simmons would be proud.

Anxiously Awaiting

I'm anxiously awaiting spring. That's right, I said it - I want spring to come!

I'm still a fan of winter. I love the brisk air on my face and the liberating feel of the chill, keeping me awake and alive to feel the world around me. Summer days are perceived to be hot and sticky, the sun luring you to nap and sleep and, if you want to be active, go lye on the beach and soak in rays while listening to the water clash about. This has it's unique beauty; I'm just not a fan of humidity and extreme heat.

As I slosh around in the city and journey over and around snow piles stacked to the hilt, I am feeling a bit leery - I've walked this street so many times and yet I STILL manage to slip and slide in the exact SAME places. I STILL manage to get a foot or two stuck in the exact SAME snow holes. I STILL manage to step in the exact SAME puddle of ice, snow, and dirt. Feel free to capture a mental picture here if wish: Ryan, twisting and gyrating, bending and kicking, ass down and legs up while transit buses swerve, cars honk, and people giggle. I laugh, too. The lower body gets a work out while the feet cry for relief. I wish I could say help was immanent or right around the corner. It may very well be, but I won't be betting on that here in Chicago.

The brisk air of winter is still hitting a sweet spot, conjuring up a sense of aliveness and energy. At the same time, the feet are being drug through a messy winter-land. I want to yell, "hang in there, feet, you'll be complaining about the hot sand soon enough!" I want spring to come, and stay throughout the summer.

A Week of Renewal & Promise

What is this world coming to?

Death and destruction. War and terror. Burning, pillaging, genocide, ethnic cleansing. Hatred and injustice. Racism, homophobia, sexism. Poverty and illness. Shortage of food, dirty water, lack of medicine, expensive drugs.

The question above surfaces for many of us frequently. Although we may not be able to articulate such, it seems never far from memory, etched solidly in our unconscious. The world today does present challenges, there is no denying that. Where there is fear, however, there is opportunity. Where there exists atrocities and violence, there can be birthed peace and healing.
Behind all sin and shortcomings their exists a proportionate grace and invitation.

It's easy to get overwhelmed. Yet, as this week alone reminded me, there is reason to celebrate the "proportionate grace and invitation" behind the doors of violence and injustice.

1) Martin Luther King, Jr. was honored on Monday. His witness to nonviolence and steadfast support of equal rights for all inspires us today. The Six Principles of Nonviolence is only one of his legacies: nonviolence is a way of life for courageous people, seeks to win friendship and understanding, seeks to defeat injustice not people, holds that suffering can educate and transform, chooses love instead of hate, and believes that the universe is on the side of justice.

2) Barack Obama was inaugurated the 44th President of the United States of America. While his legacy is yet to be determined, a new day has seemed to sweep across the country, valuing openness and respect, competence and integrity, unity and purpose. His presidency is no small feat. It's one of those breakthrough moments, re-routing our collective expectations and energy for the future.

3) This Sunday marks the 50th anniversary of the proclamation for Vatican II by John Paul XXIII. A renewed, excited, and enlivened Church emerged. It is still giving birth to many fruits, as it continues to open up faith, spirituality, and theology for many, providing access and invitation to being Church. No longer can we pit grace against human nature, religious against lay, or understand sacrifice as salvation - it's instead provoked new questions, visions of a just Church and truly compassionate God.

The challenges are many and the load we bear is not light. The examples above demonstrate that these are burdens carried together, and although progress may not come as fast or furious as we would like, embodied leaders and movements of change do happen. This week is living proof. From this perspective, the world points to renewal and wholeness.

Divide & Conquer -- Unite & Prosper

If you are a progressive like myself you are elated at today's inauguration of Barack Obama. If you are a conservative, you have doubts. Obama won't be a perfect president and certainly doesn't have all the answers. I'd like to suggest we push ideology aside, even if just for today. There will be plenty of time for ideologues to banter.

Instead, I want to focus on process. What is the process by which our new leader will govern? Just as much as ideology informs government, so does the process (rules?) of engagement. I would argue that process has just as much to do with success as does having the 'right' answers and the 'correct' policies. This is important - but it is not everything.

What process will move us forward? Unlike Bush's method of divide and conquer, Obama's seems to be unite and prosper. Unlike the exclusiveness and rigidity of the last 8 years, we seem to entering an era of collaboration, inclusiveness (even of ideas different than our own), and dialogue. This process, marked by transparency and integrity, invites and welcomes, affirms, and gathers all around the national table of conversation. And while there will be disagreements and dissent, there will be a place for all.

Conservatives may have doubts, but they will be allowed at the national table, too. As a self-identified progressive, I wish the same would have been true of 'us' during Bush's presidency. The outrage we feel towards Bush isn't grounded in dissenting ideology (good people can disagree), it's in being pushed - and in many ways shoved - to the periphery, to the margins of public discourse, our ideas and person-hood violated, discredited, many times seemingly not even recognized. There is a more dignified way forward - a process which can hold agreement and tension, dissent and collaboration, conservatives and liberals. It is about building up, not tearing down.

My prayer for America is that Obama continues the spirit of this process. Over the last year Americans rejected a government of fear and unilateralism and embraced hope and possibility, full of big ideas and diverse populations coming together once again for the common good of all. This might be the process needed to solve problems and elevate our collective quality of life.

Always a Panther!

The University of Northern Iowa (UNI) fight song contains the verse "hail our panthers we are forever loyal." As an alum of UNI, I couldn't be more proud of my panthers right now!

-- Continuously rated in volleyball
-- Reached division II football championship semi-finals
-- Best wrestling program in Missouri Valley Conference (MVC), one of best in nation
-- Men's basketball team currently atop MVC
-- Kurt Warner, UNI alum, quarterback of Arizona Cardinals, in NFC championship game

I loved my UNI experience and will be forever loyal. GO PANTHERS!

American Mission? Church Idol?

This week I start my Church & Mission class on Wednesday evenings. I am excited! If you’re following this blog you know I have been “starting classes” for awhile now. It is true I have two masters degrees and am quite possibility going for another one. I can’t help it, I love to learn. There are worse things I could be addicted too. I no longer resist the labels dork or nerd; they signify someone continually curious and habitually open to the world around them. I thirst the philosophical and love to analyze, theorize, integrate, and synthesize. It’s ok, I know the words dork and nerd fit.

While I love the arena of academia and the cultivation of new paradigms in which to see the world, I remind myself to temper such analyses with reflections on the lived experience. They aren’t mutually exclusive, yet, they do talk to each other in dialogue and both are needed to discern wisdom. I find those who rely solely on one or the other lack balance and comprehensiveness, the product wrapped in rigidity and/or universalism. Temper, my friends!

On a totally unrelated note, the TV show American Idol starts tonight. Yes - finally! This is one of the few reality shows that tries to build people up, give them a venue to shine, allow them to showcase themselves and their talent (or lack thereof, quite honestly) to the world. While other shows provoke participants to sabotage and derail each other, American Idol is simply about doing your best. I thrive on the personalities, the songs, melodies, the audience, and the emotions that come with those who sing and dream. There is something in me that cheers this creativity and expression, this risk-taking and vulnerability. Sometimes I sing loudly, too, to the consternation of my neighbors.

Cosmic Dance

I have a new calendar by my desk at work. It’s a “new universe” calendar which suggests small activities to do each day of the year (e.g., reflect with your heart, reverence your story, be free of fear). My hope is that the calendar will remind me of the small things I can do in a day to stay awake to the movements of life. I’m amazed at night, when I reflect back on my day, how many special moments there were, how many things I didn’t even think twice about, and how many encounters went unreverenced. I start the new year staying awake!

The intention in today’s calendar box asks me to share a favorite book with others. Wow, what timing! This past couple weeks I have been reading a book my Mom gave me entitled The Shack by WM. Paul Young. I’ve been captivated by the depth in which he writes, amazed at the topics he treats, and riled up by the theology espoused. Each of us appropriates ‘our theology’ differently; yet, I think this book has universal appeal. It’s universal not in it’s Judeo- Christian principles, or it’s God-centric language, or it’s suggestive dogma. It’s universial in that it takes someone’s story - their humanity masquerading as something else - and asks of the reader:

What does it mean to be human?

What does it mean to be fully alive?

And for Christians, how does the Trinity inform what we believe and how we live our lives?

The Shack is someone’s personal narrative, beautifully presented, rife with moments of vulnerabiltiy and authenticity. The mask comes off, his truly human face peeks through. If only more of us allowed such honesty and transparency in our lives, especially amongst those who loves us and we love.

I recommend the book. It’s an easy read physically, but will pounce on your heart, shake things up, ask deep questions about authenticity and life. I think the calendar will come in handy - is this type of thinking staying awake to the inner movements within and the cosmic dance in the world at-large?

In case your interested, tomorrow’s intention asks: What do you allow to flow through you? Rest assured, I don’t plan to blog on that topic, although maybe each person who reads this will give it some thought.